Dealing With Difficult People

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TERM PAPER SUBJECT- MANAGING INTERPERSONAL & GROUP PROCESSES TOPIC-DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE SUBMITTED TO: Dr. B.L. BAJPAI FACULTY, DBA SUBMITTED BY: SABA KAZMI MBA 3rd SEM. UNIVERSITY OF LUCKNOW ACKNOWLEDGEMENT The making of this term-paper has become possible due to the guidance, efforts and cooperation given by many people who have played an important role however, small or big, in it’s successful completion. I wish to extend my humble gratitude to Dr. B.L.Bajpai for his kind effor
   TERM PAPER  SUBJECT- MANAGING INTERPERSONAL & GROUPPROCESSESTOPIC-DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE SUBMITTED TO: SUBMITTED BY:Dr. B.L. BAJPAI SABA KAZMIFACULTY, DBA MBA 3 rd SEM.  UNIVERSITY OF LUCKNOW  ACKNOWLEDGEMENT The making of this term-paper has becomepossible due to the guidance, efforts and co-operation given by many people who have playedan important role however, small or big, in it’ssuccessful completion.I wish to extend my humble gratitude toDr. B.L.Bajpai for his kind efforts and guidance forthis term-paper, whose ever presence in my mindwith helping attitude encouraged me complete thisterm-paper.I express my deep sense of gratitude to my friendsfor their valuable help and continuous motivationand family members for their co-operation andsupport during the making of this term-paper. SABA KAZMI  MBA3rd SEM. Every moment that you spend upset, in despair, in anguish, angry or hurt because of thebehavior of anybody else in your life is a moment in which you have given up control of your life.   Wayne Dyer In the school of life, difficult people are the faculty. They teach us our most important spiritual lessons, the lessons that we would be most unlikely to learn on our own.   Mark I. Rosen  No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas or  people who simply do not like us. There are quite a large number of people out there and conflictis a fact of life. This fact isn’t the cause of conflict but it is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive us back to our most basic survival instinct; react and attack back todefend ourselves.In these instinctual moments, we may lose track of our higher selves and become the humananimal with an urge to protect ourselves when attacked. This too is natural. However, we are theonly animal blessed with intelligence and having the ability to control our responses. So how canwe do that? Difficult People Difficult people are no easier to deal with in electronic forums than they are in person. By difficult I don't mean rude . Rude people are annoying, but they're not necessarily difficult. It  is discussed how to handle them: comment on the rudeness the first time, and from then on,either ignore them or treat them the same as anyone else. If they continue being rude, they willusually make themselves so unpopular as to have no influence on others in the project, so theyare a self-containing problem.The really difficult cases are people who are not overtly rude, but who manipulate or abuse the project's processes in a way that ends up costing other people time and energy, yet do not bringany benefit to the project. Such people often look for wedge points in the project's procedures, togive themselves more influence than they might otherwise have. This is much more insidiousthan mere rudeness, because neither the behavior nor the damage it causes is apparent to casualobservers. A classic example is the filibuster, in which someone (always sounding as reasonableas possible, of course) keeps claiming that the matter under discussion is not ready for resolution,and offers more and more possible solutions, or new viewpoints on old solutions, when what isreally going on is that he senses that a consensus or a ballot is about to form, and doesn't likewhere it is probably headed. Another example is when there's a debate that won't converge onconsensus, but the group tries to at least clarify the points of disagreement and produce asummary for everyone to refer to from then on. The obstructionist, who knows the summary maylead to a result he doesn't like, will often try to delay even the summary, by relentlesslycomplicating the question of what should be in it, either by objecting to reasonable suggestionsor by introducing unexpected new items. Why Bother Controlling Our Responses? ã Hurting Ourselves - “  Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die .” The only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to negativity, weare disturbing our inner space and mentally creating pain within ourselves. ã It’s Not About You, It’s About Them – it is learned that when people initiate negativity, it is areflection of their inner state expressed externally and we just happen to be in front of thatexpression. It’s not personal, so why do we take it personally? In short: Because our ego likes problems and conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they wantto take others down with them. There have been many times when a random person has left a purposefully hurtful comment onTSN, and regularly checked back to see if anyone elseresponded to their comment, waiting eagerly to respond with more negativity. ã Battle of the Ego - When we respond impulsively, it is a natural and honest response. However,is it the smart thing to do? What can be resolved by doing so? The answer:  Nothing  . It doeshowever feed our ego’s need for conflict. Have you noticed that when we  fight  back, it feelsreally satisfying in our heads? But it doesn’t feel very good in our soul? Our stomach becomestight, and we start having violent thoughts? When we do respond irrationally, it turns theconversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes anunnecessary and unproductive battle for  Who is Right  ? ã Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity. - Rarely can any good come out of reactingagainst someone who is in a negative state. It will only trigger anger and an additional reactiveresponse from that person. If we do respond impulsively, we’ll have invested energy in thedefending of ourselves and we’ll feel more psychologically compelled to defend ourselves goingforward. Have you noticed that the angrier our thoughts become, the angrier we become? It’s anegative downward spiral.
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